Nothing without authoritative blessing!

I always hated the idea of a man asking a woman's hand in marriage.. .and still do. It symbolizes that passing on of property from one man to another. One reason I walked alone down the isle.

But what ever happened to getting your family's blessing? Sure, part of it also corresponded to that idea of property... but the other part of it signified a family's approval of the match. Whether it be because if would improve the family's name, politically, brought money into the family, simply was a good match of characters for the new couple to be partners capable of building a great life together, etc.

I think that last part is important. It seems that if you're going to make a decision like that, it would be extremely helpful to get your friends' and family's so-called blessing. Not necessarily for a dogmatic answer on whether or not the relationship will or won't work and what actions you should take... But i think that sharing our perspectives is incredibly helpful.

How many stories have you heard of the marriage that lasted about a day and a half because the couple was head over heals for each other (NRE), got married on impulse, and realized it was a huge mistake? (or some variant of that story) Would the outside perspectives of the individuals closest to the bride and groom not be useful in this situation?

Or someone who is impulsive because they're so lonely, they jump into all sorts of relationships, or one very long-term one... it's easy to be blinded by loneliness. Easy to be blind when you're starving for partnership. But when you're blind, how can you see whether the relationship you're jumping into is the solution to your problems? You're close friends and family members may not have the absolute answers to every situation, but we should never take what they have to say for granted.

Hell, think of where'd I'd be if I'd listened to everyone that found out when I was engaged... "I guess everyone has to have their first."

But not only do we take this much needed advice for granted, even dismiss it without due deliberation all too often, but most people are too hesitant to share it. There are definitely distasteful ways to shove your opinions in other people's faces, but there are very helpful, constructive ways to share your perspective with the people you love. Maybe it's best to wait to be asked for it...

I was just thinking about how nice it would be sometimes to be able to step out of my own consciousness into a more objective view of my situations and take a look around. This made me think of getting your parent's blessing for marriage.... which made me think of getting the people closest to you's blessing when you might be making decisions while oppressive objects are obstructing your view.

Just a ramble.

Homework time.