Monday, February 23, 2009

I am NEVER changing my last name. (again...)

My ethics teacher: very well educated, intelligent, opinionated professor. Articulates himself well and will show you exactly where you are going wrong when you get confused. Other than getting his lectures across and understood, very disinterested in his students individually. I absolutely respect but am absolutely intimidated by this man.

When I went into class today he pulled out the big stack that was our mid-term papers. I was immediately full of that combination of excitement and anxiety that I get whenever I'm about to see me work judged by someone I respect and who knows the subject well. First thing he says:

"Strange statistical fact, almost all of those whose last names start with an 'h' did really well."

So I'm excited but thinking I could be the one person that made that "almost all" instead of all... He starts handing them back and I see other people have notes and scribbles all over every page. Pencil marks and notations, lines through their words, etc. Anxiety building.

He calls my name and hands me my paper looking almost identical to when I turned it in, save for a check in the margin here and there (that he presumably made as he progressed through the paper). Then, at the very end "Well written and argued; good structure. A"

I literally almost cried... but then I remembered I was in the middle of class and that people don't get emotional in class over silly mid-terms.. usually.

That feeling of having my work regarded as not only worth-while, but well-done by someone whom I respect and admire...

I wish I could just trap that feeling in a bottle somehow to have and to hold forever. Something from which I can take a good deep breath when I'm feeling overwhelmed and unsure of myself. This head-swelling feeling is one of my favorite experiences. Period.

1 comment:

Soul Funk Goddess said...

CONGRATU-FARKIN-LATIONS, WOMAN!!!

that's so effing awesome, i almost can't articulate it without a lot of aid from the F word. =)

keep the paper. take it out when you have to, and just read those words again. and see that big, fat A!!!

((lmao!! and as a side note, speaking of the F word, the little "captcha" at the bottom for word verification here is "fruckin." hehe...))