One must remain commited to be truly free! ...What?

Juuuuust a quick note during my break from homework:

First, a quote:
"It takes a deep commitment to change and an even deeper commitment to grow." -Ralph Ellison

That commitment MUST be made to and for yourself, because it must be you that makes the effort and it is in you that the results are manifest.

An example of the former can be made of quitting smoking. It takes a deep commitment to yourself to succeed in quitting. This commitment must be to yourself because it involves nothing outside of you to have the willpower to quit and it is your habit and no one else's that you are changing. When a commitment of the sort is made to someone outside of you, you are not likely to succeed. If you do succeed, the results aren't likely to stick.

The latter, that thing they call personal growth, is a smidge more complicated. As I see it, personal growth involves expanding our not only knowledge, but understanding of no one else but our very own selves. My personal growth involves me working to gain knowledge and a better understanding of no one else but me, which allows me to tighten a few screws, make some alterations where necessary, and continue to evolve as an individual. This journey takes tremendous commitment to yourself.

To be committed to yourself in any way requires knowing at least in what direction you want to move forward in (which usually involves having a fairly well defined idea of a desired end), believing that you are capable and deserving of becoming "better" (however you've chosen to define "better"), want it bad enough to be willing to undertake all the challenges necessary to accomplish your goal, and practicing unfaltering honesty with yourself in all of the above.

The commitment for growth is more of a mentality and way of life that one (but not all) develops. That is NOT to say that it is not something, like all commitments, that has to be renewed, reevaluated, reestablished, etc over and over and over again.

Over the years I have developed a standard for respect of other people that includes some level/variation of this mentality. Until now, I haven't been able to fully articulate this, but I am just beginning to see a pattern in my recent years of behavior that signifies the development of this standard. I have repeatedly gotten into relationships, friendly and romantic, which I try and try and try to make work only to reject the individual because, though I couldn't put my finger on it, I just wasn't satisfied somehow. Because I have not been conscious of my tendency to judge whether or not other people have this mentality, I dive in only to eventually find that I cannot develop some form of respect for them.

Well kids the blond finally gets it. Now the question that remains is this: Does this crystallization of my already existent intuition offer a short-cut to the path of being able to surround myself with only those that can positively influence and support me and that can be positively influenced and supported by me? Or does this newly recognized standard of mine exclude people that should/would be important to my life?

If the first option is the case, I am faced with the challenge of cleansing my life of those that lack/reject the aforementioned mentality, which is not an easy task. There's a fine line here between being a judgemental bitch and a wisely selective individual looking out for her own wellbeing. Also, as experience has already informed me, cleansing your life of those whom you have loved, but whom you no longer can respect is a painful process.

If the second option is the case, then clearly I need to reevaluate my standards and how I see people.

So where do I go from here?